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Staying fit has been a science for me (literally) for the last 18 years. I went from being a star dual-sport athlete in high school, to a Division one collegiate athlete, to married and pregnant just 3 months after the final game of my career.

Pregnancy was a wildcard this athlete and exercise enthusiast had not planned for nor prepared for. My solution at the time was to push harder, run further, and exercise more…I think all in an attempt to prove to myself that I could still stay in good shape even though I was pregnant.

Isn’t it interesting that for all my hard work and effort to maintain an outward “health” I was totally missing how unhealthy I was in my thinking, which in turn was driving some very unhealthy behaviors?

After years of experimenting on myself and then researching better ways of accomplishing my desired goal of good health, strength, and fitness, I found some better ways of doing things. I hope these 3 “secrets” I learned through the fire can spare you a little heart-ache. Take the fast track on this one friend. I didn’t love my body well in the years of learning how to do things with grace and balance.

Secret #1: REFUSE Shame

When I say refusing, I mean REFUSING.  I have to get “violent” sometimes about this because everything in me wants to agree with shame.  It feels so true in the moment.  I do feel like a loser, bad mom, awful wife, or failure with my eating because of “______”.  There is typically something pretty valid that I’ve done to back up my shame-filled claim about myself.

However, shame is the furthest thing from constructive.  It’s actually quite destructive as you have probably already experienced.  Refusing to operate under self-loathing and shame will free you to have confidence…even when you blow it in your diet, responses to others, or your workouts for the week.

It’s being able to see the big picture of life and know that it’s a journey. You aren’t completely derailed because of one (or even 10) bad decisions.  And ultimately YOU are not a bad person…you just made a bad choice.  Bad choices can be reversed by better ones.  When you don’t separate your choices from your identity (who you are at the core of your being) you can become hopeless to ever change and shame takes over.

Secret #2: Focus on the “Thou Shalts”

The “thou shalts” can be defined as the ALIVE options that I can add in each day.  When I camp here versus all the “thous shalt nots” my mindset is very different.  Instead of an abstinence mentality I’m looking for the positive things I can do each meal time to helkp improve my health, energy, and fitness.  This approach will naturally reduce the less healthy choices.


Secret #3: Think ALIVE Thoughts

Similar to focusing on the “thou shalts” instead of the “thou shalt nots”, when you focus on ALIVE thoughts they will naturally crowd out the negative, DEAD mindsets (and boy did I have a lot of these to work through!).

One of the most helpful things in helping me to overcome my obsession with body image and starving myself to obtain the perfect figure was identifying the core “lie” I was daily operating under.  This lie had become such a part of me that it was a now “truth” so it was difficult at first to identify.

But as I took an honest look at my life and the path I had taken I was able to identify the core lie (along with alot of others) that were robbing me daily of living life to the fullest.   I was miserable, trapped in my own standards of perfections that were unattainable.


Take this simple step today of asking yourself, “What am I believing that is a lie?  What is robbing me of life?”   Be honest with yourself.  This lie may feel very, very true based on an experience you’ve had.  But is it really TRUTH?

If you’ll begin the process of identifying, you’re almost ready for the next step of breaking the “agreement ” you’ve made with this lie and being set free to soar to new heights.  You may have no idea what you’re actually capable of when you are not held back by self-imposed chains.

Freedom is a beautiful thing…if you want it.

Let me know how you do this week applying these 3 simple steps!